oh baby

well. THAT sure was an interesting tuesday night, to say the least. 

started out another normal day, went to work, sold over-priced tween girl clothing, went shopping and spent a large amount of my mother's money..

THEN i got a text 

"what are you doing tonight?"

my reply

"i have no plans after dinner with my mother.. why?"

-that started a night, well, haha, you'll see..

so this kid travis, who i have not seen in 3 years, invites me to greensboro with him to go hit up some parties.

i say, what the hell? lets go!

so we meet up at 9pm at waffle house (classy, i know!). and head to gboro.

1. the car ride was super sexy. he blasted super hardxcore music. you know thats my favorite..

2. we got lost in the ghetto of gboro, yes, it has a ghetto, i have seen it

3. I SAW A REAL LIVE HOOKER. BEST LIFE EXPERIENCE EVER

--yeah, we are just like, lost in the ghetto, and we see Bonquisha (obviously her name has been changed for confidentiality and safety reasons) and she is wearing some skin tight leather hot pink pants, a tiny bedazzled bra and a giant fur coat. 

-seriously, as tyra banks would say, she was FIERCE.

so we show up at this kid robbie's house

he is having "band practice". hahaha. they totally sucked. a lot.

so we leave and meet a bunch of kids up at clint's apt. totally a great life choice.

it was 20 guys. 3 girls (myself included). hahaha. great odds i suppose. especially considering the other two girls had boyfriends.

too bad the guys i had to chose from were:

1. boy with the curly mullet. no lie.

2. boy who said his favorite song was "suicide party"

3. boy who liked to call me "titts mcgee" 

4. boy who was chugging a half gallon of vodka, straight, by himself.

--you get the point. im sure you can see, i had a hard time making up my mind about who was most appealing. 

i learned a few new drinking games. i also learned that apparently i can drink 16 ounces of vodka and NOT die.. thats great news. 

i also learned that i need to tell guys, because clearly ya'll just dont know: following a girl around (aka party stalking) is NOT a good way to hit on her, get her number, or attempt to get her to sleep with you!

--the guy tried to tell me i HAD to sleep in his bed with him.. uhm really? bad life choice, mister. and you wonder why i am not returning your texts?

i did enjoy myself though! being the only girl during circle of death was quite hillarious. running around in crazy cowboy boots was extra hillarious.

passing out at 5am on a fold out couch between two silly boys who were too drunk to make sure i had enough room to breathe, love it. 

so now, at midnight, i am still trying to recover from my hangover from a night of epicness. 

what a great way to kick off summer.

ps. if you read this, wtf were you thinking? 

1. i shouldnt be allowed to blog

2. i am not very good at telling funny stories, this was all hillarious to me, not to you.

3. this was so long, i can't believe you're STILL reading this. wtf?

okay <3